He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize