Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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