I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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