Umm I'm too high to move.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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