Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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