do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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