The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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