I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
