the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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