Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
