You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
