this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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