why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
