i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
