haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
