so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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