Moan for me like Helen Keller
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my shit smells like andre
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
