why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize