Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
being pregnant is like rehab
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
