you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
