rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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