C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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