How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
