That's when you crack a 10am beer
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
