yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
