I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize