im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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