Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
