Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You are the jesus of drinking
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
