Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
