Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize