I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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