I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
