come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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