genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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