yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
