the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize