Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He passed out mid-signature
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I supernannyed him into submission
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
