How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Randomize
