well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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