Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
