just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
