we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The ass gains better be worth it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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