I wannas sexs uuuuu
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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