Having a random hookup so left but love u
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
