i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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