Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize