how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
