First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize