At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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