Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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