Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
