Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She announced her abortion via fbk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
