theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
