You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize