i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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