If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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