ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
