HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
