I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
