love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This baby is an asshole
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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