i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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