Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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