Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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