When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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